R.I.P. Heath Ledger

I am not one for gossip, especially when dealing with celebrities and their personal lives.

But, I must admit I was shocked when I heard about Heath Ledger’s death.

Usually when I find out a celebrity has died, I don’t think much of it to be honest. I read or hear about it, think about it for a bit and that’s that.

But out of all the people who pass on unexpectedly, he is the last one I would think of.

I’ve seen quite a few of his movies and felt he was a good actor. The new Batman movie will no doubt cement his legacy within the cinema world. The role he played as the joker maybe his rise and ultimately his fall as well.

And you know what? For lack of better terms, he seemed to be a good dude.

From what I understand, the guy enjoyed being sober, which is refreshing to hear in my opinion.

I don’t know what happened to him, none of us do. Speculation is a crazy and sometimes not-so-good thing. Even after the autopsy is complete, we still may never know what was really going on with him.

I’m not here to say how sad I am or to say how I can’t believe this happened or how much of a tragedy it is.

Fact is, this is a tragedy in certain respects to certain people. Any time a relatively young person is taken from this world before “their time” is a very sad thing.

No doubt the media have been swooning around this story and will continue to swoon long after we all find out what happened.

I say, enough with the swooning.

I say, acknowledge what happened, pay your respects, however that may be, and let this man rest in peace.

Most importantly, acknowledge that life is extremely precious whether you are a celebrity or a regular person. Do not hold someone to a higher standard because they are in the public eye. Do not hold someone in a higher regard just because they have passed. We are all human beings.

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Summer Recap

Granted, I am about a week-or-so late writing this entry.

Given that, I still felt the need to write it.

I suppose that anyone could argue the fact of summer ending in August, and that’s a valid point because many people’s summers do end around that time. However, summer “officially” ended on…I dunno, whenever.

To the point…

I had a pretty good summer.

A really good summer, actually.

It was the first one spent at home in over a year. And it would also mark the first time in a long time I would be moving home for an extended period after five years spent in Mount Pleasant.

At first, I was worried that it would be a huge adjustment. It was. But, the adjustment came easily. The hardest part was not partying enough. At college, everything is fast paced. At home, things seem a lot slower. A LOT SLOWER. There’s just not as much action going on…not that it’s a bad thing, but that’s just how it is.

There are also zero girls back here compared to up at school, a fact that definitely sucked at first. However, I had no problem whatsoever figuring that situation out towards the end of the summer months, leading to another reason it has been a great summer.

Do you believe what they say about falling in love during the summer? I do now.

The overall tone of the summer was amazing for me. It had been so long since I had taken a break from the college environment. Taking that break made me realize how much I needed one. After about a month or so I finally recognized how worn down my body was from five years of partying. Crazy thing to say at 23-years-old.

Being at home was almost somewhat of a detox…although, not so much at certain points. Cutting back on the party was definitely something I was actually looking forward to. That doesn’t necessarily mean cutting back on the fun, it just means cutting back on the frequentness of it.

I also had a great chance this summer to see people I haven’t seen in a long time. Spending time with my family is important to me and I had a lot of opportunities to do that. That’s one of the things that really made me happy this summer.

And sometimes, things don’t always work out. Sometimes that time you spend with your loved ones can be bittersweet. I say this because when you spend that time, you may know its not going to happen as often anymore. Or maybe at all, you never know. That’s why that family time is so important to me.

I ended up making some new friends and hung out with the ones that have always been there.

That is comforting to me. Good to know there’s people on your side.

And guess what? Wouldn’t you know, after all this time, I finally got something remotely close to a job at the end of August!

I’m definitely looking forward to see what the rest of the year has to offer me. One day at a time, of course…

Lame

Why is it, that when a guy is single, there are no females even remotely interested in him?

Then, when he has a girlfriend (more like when they find out he has one) the females come out of the woodwork?

Does that somehow make him more desirable?I never understood it and I never will.

And now that it’s happening to me, I can’t help but laugh.

In a way, it makes me angry. I mean, where were you before all this?

Where were you when I called you to hang out? Where were you when I asked you to come out with me, maybe go to dinner? Where were you when I was actually trying to get with you? Where in the hell were you when I was at my loneliest point?

Yeah, where in the hell were you, because I sure couldn’t figure it out.

That’s the thing…you weren’t there.

Oh wait, yes you were. That’s right, I forgot.

You were busy blowing me off…

…or stringing me along…

…or playing some other type of game with me.

But in reality, you were nowhere to be found.

Now all of a sudden, a slew of girls have come out of nowhere…girls I haven’t talked to in months.

Why is that? Someone, anyone, please explain it to me. PLEASE!

I’m not really mad…in fact, I don’t really give a shit…but I do because it’s so crazy to me.

I think more than anything, I’m baffled.

Baffled and appalled at how hypocritical and LAME you all are.

I think that’s the best word to describe it…LAME. Because that’s what you are.

You know what…get a fucking clue, would you?

I mean, how self-righteous do you think you are? You really must think you are the shit if you can dog me out one minute when I try to get with you and then turn around and try to get with me the next…while I have a girlfriend, mind you.

And not that you are even necessarily trying to get with me…it’s like you contact me out of spite, just for the simple fact that I do have a girlfriend.

I’m sorry, but I don’t work like that…never have, never will. Sorry you don’t realize it.

You know what? I’m not sorry at all…YOU are.

In fact, I don’t even know why in the hell I’m so upset about it.

Actually, at this point in the game, I’m pretty damn happy with my situation, to be perfectly honest with you.

I have a girlfriend now and I didn’t have to play any games to get her to like me. She likes me for me and that’s what counts.

No games. No fronting. No playing hard to get. No stringing me along. No, “Well, I like you but…”

No. None of that. No teasing. No misleading. NO GAMES.

Instead, I get honesty.

And in the end, that’s all I really wanted in the first place. Now is that too much to ask for?

I can’t tell you how good it feels. Feeling genuine about someone is something that is untouched.

And I can’t tell you how good it feels to write this…and to laugh while I write it because it makes me feel so good to realize how full of shit you all were and are.

The best part about all this is knowing that I don’t have to deal with any of that bullshit anymore. It’s like having a weight lifted off of my shoulders, I gotta tell ya.

IT FEELS…SO GOOD!

Maybe one day you will have that feeling…

But you have to grow up first. Good luck with that.

~ Mike D

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The Breaks

Why is it that every single time I think I have something good going, something in my favor, something that has potential, something that just might work out…
 

I GET COMPLETELY SHIT ON!

I mean, what the hell? Really.

It really sucks, let me tell ya.

And I feel that it happens to me far too often.

I then ask myself, “Mike, why do you suck at life?”

I never know the answer.

But, I’m not giving up.

Gotta keep the faith…

YA FEEL ME?!?

~ Mike D

“Summertime and the livin’s easy…”

It’s 12:46 a.m., technically Friday morning, but really Thursday night.

Just got back from a wedding rehearsal/dinner.

Rehearsal @ the church, dinner @ my aunt and uncle’s.

My cousin is getting married.

Pardon me, but I am feeling great off of food and drink  =]  My favorite combination! hehe

In reality, tonight was basically the bridal party meets the uhh, groomsmen? I dunno. Whatever.

And of course, practice walking down the aisle…all that good stuff.

I guess it’s part of the whole getting married deal. I’m not sure…I’m kinda new to this.

I’ve only stood up in one wedding before and that was my brother Steve’s…a while back.

I just found it kind of interesting tonight because I’m older now. Interesting for various reasons.

Looking back on tonight, I kind of feel like there was the groom’s family and the bride’s family. Obviously.

But, separate at first, then united after the rehearsal.

Food. Drinks. Great times.

On that note, good food witll bring anyone together.

Sit down, have an amazing meal and just, enjoy. It kind of lets everyone relax and just take it all in.

Anyway, introduce alcohol into the situation and it’s guaranteed to get people loose.

Some, get looser than others.

Not loose in any derogatory way, but loose as in laid back. Just loose as in, this is a celebration.

A celebration of life, two people being wed in happiness and love.

Something good to celebrate in all of the bad shit that is going on in the world today, to be honest with you.

It’s…I can’t even describe it.

To say it was ‘cool’ would be an understatement, but it is.

It makes me proud to say that I have great family members and I love them.

And that enjoy the company of real, genuine and good people.

More to come on the rest of this weekend soon…it’s been a great start already.

~ Mike D

Weekend recap: 4/24 - 4/29 - Part II

Friday was spent recovering for the most part.

I attended the CM Life banquet with some of the people I work with at the paper.

It was a good time.

I never really partied much with them, but I had a lot of fun.

Saturday was the grand daddy of them all: Reggaefest!!!

Technically, it’s called “Rock-n-Reggae,” but no one calls it that.

It’s held on this Indian reservation about 15 minutes outside of Mount Pleasant.

You can go there and basically do whatever you want.

It’s kinda like a giant outdoor tailgate/party/Woodstock-type deal.

People bring kegs, blankets, grills, chairs, food, beer and uh, other stuff.

My buddies Paul and Robert were scheduled to make the trip.

The plan was to leave our place around 10 a.m. and get there about 11 a.m.

Since Paul and Robert were at the Tigers game the night before, we were skeptical about them making on time.

Schulte went to down to Michigan State the night before and we were worried that he was gonna miss out too.

O ye of little faith! They did make it and we were off in plenty of time. Schulte met us there.

It was an amazingly gorgeous day!

70 degrees and sunny. We really couldn’t ask  for much more than that!

It’s really a great atmosphere to be in.

Everyone is partying, everyone is having a good time.

The reggae-style music really puts everyone in a good mood too.

To reference John Lennon, it’s kinda like “instant karma.”

Reggae really is an end-of-the-year tradition for CMU students.

But the great thing about it, is that it’s not just for CMU students. Everyone can experience it.

Man. It was one of the best times I’ve ever had.

I was smiling all day.

And while I was pretty much intoxicated from the moment of arrival, I remembered to take it all in.

“This is it,” I kept telling myself.

I told my friends that I loved them and how glad I was that they were there with me.

It was a celebration.

Some people just wanted to celebrate getting all messed up.

For me, I celebrated for a lot of reasons.

My best friends.

My college career coming to an end.

But just life in general.

Celebrating being alive.

I’ll never forget these memories.

~ Mike D

What a long strange trip its been…

Well, it’s all over now.And it went by way too fast.

I’m referring to this past week.

But in reality, I’m talking about the past five years.

But this past week is what the past five years has led up to.

There was a culmination factor involved.

A certain feeling that, “This is it.”

And it was.

It was my last weekend as an undergrad student at Central Michigan.

There was so much anticipation involved.

At the same time, there was anxiety involved too.

One of those times you can’t wait to happen, but realize that after it’s gone, there is no more.

As I sit here and write this on Sunday night, I have come to the realization that it is in fact over.

I have three finals this week.

I graduate on Saturday.

It really is over, isn’t it?

I am so scared.

You have no idea.

I am deathly scared.

Not only am I scared, I’m worried.

I’m nervous too.

But, the feeling that is most overwhelming at this point is sadness.

I am so sad, I almost can’t describe it.

So sad to say that this five-year journey is just about over with.

However, none of these emotions I have described to you should EVER be confused with regret.

I do not regret one single thing in these past five years.

In the words of the late Hunter S. Thompson, “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

The ride HST was referring to is called life.

The ride I am referring to is called college.

And what a long, strange trip its been…

~ Mike D

A-N-T-S-Y!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

I am in a 100% party mood right now!

I just got out of class about an hour ago after I finished my presentation, which went extremely well, thank you very much.

When I walked out of the door, I was blinded by the light (kinda like that Manfred Mann song).

“What the hell?” I thought. Is that…is that the sun?!

As I began walking, I couldn’t believe how nice it was outside.

The sun was out, it wasn’t raining and I wasn’t wearing a hoodie.

62 degrees!!!!! Awesome.

I walked from Anspach to Moore, just people watching as I usually do.

I have to say, everyone was looking great.

I was wearing a t-shirt. Some girls were wearing less, which damn-near made my day.

Then I came to the realization that this was going to be one of the last times I walk around on campus.

I know, I know. It sounds corny. But I just can’t help think like that lately.

I mean, I really do love CMU.

I remember the first time I realized it.

It was a really nice spring day, similar to this one, probably about two years ago.

It was early evening, probably around 6 p.m. or so and I was walking by the library.

There weren’t many people walking around, just a few here and there.

I looked around me and the sun was starting to go down.

And I don’t know why, but I remember just smiling to myself.

It was kinda surreal. You don’t really know why those moments happen, but they just do.

That’s when I knew. I realized that this is where I belonged, right then, right there at that very moment.
 
And I stopped. I stopped and I stood there and I took it in. There was no question in my mind.

And there isn’t any doubt in my mind right now as I sit here any type this.

This place has been such a big part of my life, I think it’s only natural.

But as I think these things, I just remind myself to enjoy it.

Not only enjoy it, but take it all in and absorb it.

I want to remember every single little detail possible. I want to hold these memories forever.

I want to remember things like walking to class. I want to remember the people I’ve met.

I want to remember going to the bar and parties. I want to remember hanging out in my apartment.

And yeah, I even want to remember my classes, no matter how hard they were.

I do not want to take ANYTHING for granted.

To me, times like these are going to define who I am as a person and a man.

No, I’m not talking about the whole walking on campus thing. But it all ties in to my point in a way, I suppose.

About a month ago, I told my roommate Jeff, ”These next few weeks are going to determine the rest of our lives and who we are.”

I’m not sure if he agrees with me completely, but he did agree to the importance of what is happening to us.

Graduating college, getting our degrees, moving on to the next chapter of our lives.

I think I talk about it so much because I know it’s inevitable.

Another weekend is here. Another week has gone by.

Dates fly off the calendar before you can even realize it.

Two weeks left and this chapter will be closed.

I want it to be the best two weeks of my life.

I want to remember everything…every single little detail, not matter how small.

It’s been one hell of a ride already…

~ Mike D

Time to start listening sooner

I’m still in shock about the shooting that happened at Virginia Tech yesterday. I think everyone is still in disbelief.

But, should we be?

This obviously isn’t the first time something like this has happened as far as school shootings go, everyone knows that.

There have been 19 school shootings in the U.S. since 1997: two in ‘97, five in ‘98, three in ‘99 (including Columbine), one each year in ‘00, ‘01, ‘03 and ‘04; two in ‘05 and ‘06 and now one in 2007 with Virginia Tech.

Fourteen of those tragedies were committed by teenagers.

Another news flash: if you look closely, this stuff is not happening in urban areas.

Mississippi, Kentucky, Arkansas, Oregon, Virginia, New Mexico, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Wisconsin.

Not East L.A., not Compton, not New York City.

Hell, for all I know, I could be walking on Central Michigan’s campus tomorrow and someone could open fire.

Right in little ol’ Mount Pleasant. Right in the heart of Michigan.

This stuff can happen anywhere at any time. That’s the scariest thing.

What I want to know is, when are people going to start listening?

When are people going to start reaching out to troubled kids?

The youth in this country is far out of touch with what’s going on in the world.

Or is it the fact that the world is out of touch with today’s youth?

Every time something like this has happened, we soon find out after the fact that there were tell-tale signs to this occurring.

Reports are now saying that Cho Seung-Hui, this guy who shot up Virginia Tech, had shown signs of violence in his behavior and in his creative writing class as of late.

They (whoever ‘they’ are) referred him to the school’s counseling program.

They referred him? That’s it? What they should have done was made it a point that this kid was getting help! Don’t just refer him.

The kid was a loner. He didn’t have any friends and he showed signs of violence. Essentially, they didn’t do anything to help this kid.

I’m sick of hearing about what should have or could have been done to prevent something like this after the fact, when it’s already too late.

Then everyone sits here and points the finger at who gets the blame.

Is it the Republicans and their gun toting friends the NRA?

Is it the kid’s fault because he went out and bought the gun?

Is it the person who sold it to him?

Is it his parent’s because he wasn’t raised normal?

Is it insensitive college students for not trying to be friends with him?

But here’s the real question: does any of that really matter right now? At this point, does it matter whose fault it is?

The answer is no.

And to be completely honest without being insensitive, what can be so horribly God-awful with your life that you feel the need to kill someone?

Obviously, this guy had problems. Anyone who would bring themselves to this has a serious amount of problems.

I mean, what is going on in the world today? It sounds cliché, but it’s true!

Today, I turn the channel and I see this woman on trial who killed her husband and children.

A few months ago, this guy kills his wife and cuts her whole body up.

Wars, natural disasters.

Some of this stuff boggles my mind.

As humans, it seems like so much is brought on ourselves.

And then on top of it, it seems to me that God is so pissed off at us for doing such stupid things, that He might turn around and…who knows.

Look, all I know is that we, as a race of human beings, are messing up…big time.

Not blacks, not whites, not latinos, not all the rest of that nonsense.

There are no races. There is one RACE: humans.

And we are blowing it right now…have been for some time.

It’s time that we look at ourselves instead of others to blame.

~ Mike D

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Do I Have to Graduate?

Tests. Classes. Teachers. Grades. Homework. GPA. Diplomas. Degrees.

Eighteen years.

Nine years of grade school, four years of high school and soon-to-be five years of college. Eighteen damn years I’ve been dealing with this school non-sense. But, I’m almost done.

To be completely honest about it, I can’t believe I made it this far. I’m one of the worst students I know. Some of it’s my fault, I know, but I can’t help but think that some of it isn’t. I promise you that I’m the worst test-taker in the history, no matter how much I study. But, I made it this far.

And in four short weeks, it will all be over. Scary. I can’t help but sit here and *shake my head.* Where did the time go? It’s kind of hard for me to deal with sometimes.

I remember feeling like this when I graduated from high school. You don’t really want to leave, but you know that your time has come. When I graduated from high school, I knew I would be going to college. When I graduate from college I know…..I’ll be…..moving home? That’s about my only certainty right now.

It’s a strange feeling not knowing what comes next. Really scary. I mean, what can you do? Sure, I’m doin the whole applying for jobs thing. But, there’s a part of me that’s thinking, “Do I have to graduate? Can’t I stay? No! Don’t make leeeeeaaaave!”

I know every college graduate goes through it. Some of my friends can’t wait to graduate. I feel like that on occasion. The whole thing is very bitter-sweet.

I never thought I would say this, but damn it, this place is a part of me. Mount Pleasant…well, not so much Mount Pleasant…but CMU. (Seriously, I hate this shit-ass hick town.) But, Central has a piece of my heart forever. Going to college here has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me.    

Not only did I get the opportunity to go to college, I found something that I believe is my calling in life: writing.

It’s really crazy how I came to be a journalism major. I never, ever thought about writing seriously before college. When I got here, I thought I was going to be a computer science major. Stop laughing! 

Sounds cheesy to say, but I truly believe that fate had something to do with it. But I am so very glad it did happen, because damn! I really do love it when it works. Writing, that is. When it works, it’s the best feeling in the world. You just want to go, “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeoooohh!” Yeah, I like it.
   
Man…I made a lot friends here. More than I ever imagined. Some were pretty cool, some were full of shit. It’s easy to tell the difference for me. But I know who is true and who isn’t. Fortunately for me, I did make some true friends.

Friends. That’s what I’ll miss the most. For me, that’s what school is and was all about. School may be for 18 years, but true friends will be for a lifetime.

And the females! Ahhhhhhhhh! Don’t get me started. Geeeeez. Quite possibly my favorite thing about college, to be straight up with you. Do you blame me? You better not…hater.

I don’t know. Maybe this whole schooling thing actually does work.  I always had so many doubts. I always talked shit about school. It’s just such a long, on-going process that lasts almost your entire life. My view was that school is just a means to an end. Get your degree, get a job. Work the rest of your life. I always preferred the idea of street smarts over book smarts.

But there’s so much more…so much more to college than classes and tests. I finally learned that. College doesn’t just teach you about B.S. that you learn in your classes. College can teach you about life if you let it.

Maybe you just have to realize that school isn’t the most important thing in life.

I remind myself to take a step back once in a while. Put things in perspective.

The best thing in life, is life.

~ Mike D